So in some mundane curiosity, or some crazy masochistic desire, I deigned to read someone's blog. Now, I don't actually know this girl. She was the almost-fiance of my recently deceased old friend. I'm reading her blog to see how it felt to have the person you love most in the world die. And to see a part of my friend's life that I didn't know much about--one of the biggest holds of his heart. Or, perhaps if I'm being more honest with myself, maybe I'm just judging her and weighing her pain. Is she grieving enough for my taste? Did she deserve him? God, what the hell is wrong with me. Surely the poor girl has had enough of that.
I cried while reading her blog. It was terrifying to put myself in her place. But I understand her better. And I understand my friend better. I'm glad he was well-loved while he was on this planet. He's still well-loved.
I'm so sad. I wish Mark would get home from work.
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